Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We need a shit load of segways right now
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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