I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I would fuck him just for his dog
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
