Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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