If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
