Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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