heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
