so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
