I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
