you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
