I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
