I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Dick very happy bro
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
