C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
