I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
