Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
