Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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