your thong is hanging out like whoa
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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