You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
