You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You need Xanax blowdarts
third nipple confirmed
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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