I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
