Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
