i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
