Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wish you could order shots online.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
