If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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