idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
