i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize