So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
