she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
