their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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