yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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