Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
