i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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