How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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