i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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