ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
