2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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