We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
