operation harelip BJ is a go
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Boobs speak an international language.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
