In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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