just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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