Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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