ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
