btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize