Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
