Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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