What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
