So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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