Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
