shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
