i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
