does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
