I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
