Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
