I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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