i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
