Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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