Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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