Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
