So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
