The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Randomize
