I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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